Dear Me 1

Once I start falling away from Joy, why must I cry before I can feel better?  Why must I fall so far before I can begin to soar again?  If my fall is sparked by being let down by someone I had faith in, is there a way to avoid lighting that spark without losing connection with humanity?  Or must I choose between deliberate isolation and this painful, crashing, repeating wave of emotions?  I am getting better at staying even and happy for longer periods, but, when I crash, I crash hard.  The crying usually happens on the way back up.  Perhaps the way to avoid falling so far is to cry more often?  Hopefully soon, I will be spending most of my time feeling like laughing. Baby steps, I guess.